Bruce and Kathy
KathyProverbs 16 tells us that "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." I am here to testify today that I believe in the truth of that passage with all my heart. I know that a year ago, when Bruce and I set out on a late Friday afternoon last August, it was our plan to attend a friend's retirement party, but God had something entirely different in mind for us.
My pleasant conversation with Bruce was abruptly interrupted by the explosive sound of the stolen car slamming into the back of our truck. In terror I watched my husband trying desperately to keep control while we were careening across the median and rushing headlong into a group of trees that bordered the banks of the San Diego River. In the panic and chaos that ensued, in the seconds after the settling of dust as we sat in our crushed truck and began to take stock of our circumstance it was God himself who made his presence known. I was not full of faith . . . I was full of fear. But he was faithful. He had planned for Bruce and me to experience this dramatic circumstance for a purpose. He would show us he is Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides with lavish grace.
I want to share some of the ways he lavished his grace in very extraordinary ways. He laid his hand of peace upon me immediately, when in my fear and anxiety I called out to him as my every breath came with pain, reluctance and difficulty. He sent the proper help immediately. The first man at the scene was an off duty paramedic. Desspite my persistent pleas, for him to pry off the door and help me out of the car, he refused. He would not move me because he didn't know the condition of my neck, which I repeatedly insisted was fine. "It's my chest", I implored him. "It hurts and I cannot breathe". "Relax", he said gently, "and you will be able to breathe. You must wait for the ambulance." I call this man "my angel", for he vanished and was never again seen. Later, in the trauma center, the doctor told me that I had a Hangman's fracture, a break in my c-2 vertebrae. Any movement would have killed me instantly. The man had saved my life. The doctor told me , "We don't know why your heart is still beating. We only know that you are very lucky." I looked at that doctor, thought of my angel at the scene, and I answered him in full assurance, "Oh, it is not luck. It is by the Grace of God that I am alive".
The subsequent recovery process was arduous, but God carried me through it all, continuing to be my Provider in the most magnificent, tangible ways. I struggled with adjusting to the halo they had bolted to my head. Occasionally misjudging it, I smacked it against door jams and other objects inadvertently. Certain I had misaligned my neck, I returned for my first x-ray in fear and trepidation. In spite of my husband's sweet encouragement about God's faithfulness in bringing me this far, in spite of my knowledge of the truths of God's promises, I could not trust, and my faith was weak. When I deserved admonishment for my lack of faith, my Jehovah Jirah provided me with an x-ray technician who saw my fearful countenance, took my face into his hands, and asked quietly, "Are you afraid? Do you not know how great our God is? Do you know he holds you in his hand, and that he tells you in his Word: ‘I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you?' Do you know that he has brought you miraculously through this ordeal for a purpose, that you are going to be fine, and that he loves you with an everlasting love?" I know it is not normal for Kaiser to have x-ray technicians who encourage their fear-stricken patients in scriptures specific to their needs for a full ten minutes. But this one did; he did so because my Jehovah Jirah had given me an extraordinary circumstance and he met my extraordinary need.
There were so many other provisions of grace throughout this incident that I don't have time to recount them all. When the halo became too much to bear, I fled to God's Word and found refuge. My daughter, Terra, and my sister-in-law took time out of busy days to come regularly and wash my hair, (no easy task when working around a halo.) This church, this precious body of saints, was a blessed healing balm; all who brought meals, visited and comforted me with words, prayer, cards, books, and scripture. Laura , bless you for sitting faithfully by my side for days on end and taking me to my appointments. Elyse, your tapes still comfort and encourage. Thank you again for introducing me to John McArthur's wife with whom I could commiserate because she had been through a similar experience. Dave and Terri, Donna T, you constantly encouraged me. My precious husband, my gift, took two months off work, ministering to me daily. To all the others I failed to mention: your labors of love blessed, refreshed my heart, and sped me on in my healing process; you were the extension of God's hand of grace and I thank and love you all for it.
God used my halo to give me some time to reflect on my Savior's suffering for me. I am reminded of my husband's nightly attempts to fit soft towels in the spaces around the bolts that suspended my head in the halo, hoping it might be easier for me to sleep, and I think of how there was no one to make more comfortable the thorns that were driven into the brow of our Savior, when he lay his head down on that roughly hewn cross to pay the price of my sin.
God also showed me his power and his gentle shepherding ways. Isaiah 40 says: "See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power, and his arm rules for him... He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart." I thank my Heavenly father who, as my shepherd, not only led me with his strength, but held me as a lamb close to his heart during those difficult months. I echo the words of my youngest daughter, Bethany, who exclaimed when I arrived home from the hospital, "Mom, you have been given a James 1 experience! "Count it pure joy my brethren, when you experience trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." For me, this has truly been a testing of my faith, and although I stumbled much along the way, my Jehovah Jirah led me as my shepherd, carried me at times, and will continue to do so until I stand complete in Him on that last day.
Bruce
I too would like thank those in the church who ministered to us during our recovery from injuries sustained in the car accident that occurred just over a year ago. I want to single out Laura for her steadfast involvement in Kathy's recovery. Thank you, Laura.
Our family was present with us from the earliest moments. When the accident occurred I was able to make a phone call to my daughter Terra who immediately contacted her siblings. As I was rolled from the ambulance into ER, I heard my son's voice!. I was able to tell him that Mom was in the same ambulance and to get back to her. Kathy fondly remembers her son persistently pushing through the paramedics, calling out to her, shouting above the clamor, "Mom I'm here!". Our other two children and my mother- in- law arrived soon afterward and kept me company for next 8 hours while Kathy's fate was still unknown. We thank God for the blessing and comfort of our children and family during those initial, anxiety-laden hours, and throughout our subsequent recovery process.
God uses difficult times in our lives to bring healing and restoration in relationships. We were able to witness restoration of relationships in our extended family that remain to this day because of our accident; we marvel at God's grace and give thanks as we see Him work in these lives through our trial.
I close by sharing with you the most unexpected lesson that the Lord taught us about forgiveness. After receiving updates on the prosecution of the young man who had caused our accident, we were given the opportunity to appear in court and testify to how our injuries had affected us. Having worked in the legal system for 25 years I saw no benefit to this, and discouraged Kathy from doing so. However, she was compelled to testify. I watched as Kathy told the court how this young man's criminal behavior had impacted her. When she had finished, clearly shaken by the retelling, a plaintive voice from the defendant's box requested permission to address her. We saw him only faintly from behind the glass, but we heard clearly the emotional, broken, nineteen-year-old-voice pleadingly explain his sorrow for the pain and suffering he had caused us. He stated that he knew it would not be possible for us to forgive him now, but he hoped someday we might find it in our hearts to forgive him. Hearing this I then approached the bench (without court permission) to stand behind Kathy. Without hesitation we responded "we forgive you". And how could we not, given the forgiveness our God and Savior had graciously bestowed upon us when we deserved none.