Burdette

"Oh wondrous love that comes to dwell in me. Lord, who am I that I should come to know your tender voice assuring me? This wondrous love will never let me go. This wondrous love will never let me go."

This song has had no greater relevance to me than it did on July 7th 2005. That was the day that I found out that I had a large tumor in the right frontal lobe of my brain. The neurosurgeon told me that if I did nothing, I could die in as little as two weeks or perhaps I might make it a month or two more.

Needless to say, the doctor's words were a life changing event, but not in ways that I could have ever anticipated. Over the next few weeks, I saw the fingerprints of God everywhere as He orchestrated every situation, every e-mail, and every phone call. It was from the perspective of God's intimate involvement in my life that I began to see just a small portion of how good He truly is.

In the midst of the difficult days that followed my diagnosis, I was incredibly reassured by the fact that no matter what might happen to my body, I would never be separated from Him. Nothing that I have done or could do would ever separate my soul from His loving hand.  I learned anew that my Savior paid the price for all of my sins and that it was His grace, not what I could accomplish, that assured me that I will see Him face-to-face, as His child. I rested in the comfort that I cannot out sin the cross of Christ.

Oh, what a comfort, as my family and I stood where we all must stand: facing our mortality. During this time, so many things that I thought were "important" just faded to gray as I gained a new appreciation for God's grace to me, to my family and even to those who don't know Christ. God's grace was demonstrated through the incredible family and friends that He provided as His people served us in countless ways.

I've also gained a greater appreciation for the small things in life. My blessings have always been abundant; I just see them more clearly now. I see that the gift of my salvation alone would be far more than anything that I could have ever dreamed; but even beyond my salvation, our loving Savior has heaped upon me blessing after blessing. I am, and will always be, the most blessed man that I know. The truth of the goodness of the gospel is so applicable to all of our circumstances everyday.

Since my diagnosis, God provided for the removal of the tumor and a better prognosis than the one I initially received. His loving design has allowed me to remain here for now, knowing that my time may still be short. Although most of us don't realize it, we're all going to face a situation similar to mine some day. My prayer, especially for my unbelieving friends, is that the gift of the gospel would come alive for them as it has for me. I pray that when they face a day similar to the one I faced, they would know the same incomprehensible peace that I knew through my Savior.

Through this experience I have realized that my illness has very little to do with me. Instead it's an opportunity for God to demonstrate His love and faithfulness. I just happened to be blessed enough to have the best seat in the house as God displayed his loving and gracious handiwork.

The last verse of the song that I began with expresses what my walk with our loving God over the past few months has been like. "Oh wondrous love that rushes over me, I can't escape this rivers glorious flow. You overwhelm my days with good; your wondrous love will never let me go... your wondrous love will never let me go...".