Fitzpatrick
"I don't know how to tell you this," the voice on the other end of the line sounded distressed, frail. "I don't want to upset you. I know you're tired and you still have such a long flight."
"Please just say it, honey," I pleaded.
"The locks were changed on the business, dear. I've been shut out."
Although there were nearly 2,000 miles between us, I felt as though I was right there with Phil. What? How could that be? How could these people take over our business like that? Why would they do such a thing?
"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry." Words that seemed so empty, so trite, were all I could think to say. Yes, "I'm sorry" was indeed a fitting end to our three-year journey from financial prosperity to seeming ruin.
Nine-eleven affected every American in different ways. We thought we were just like everyone else - grieved, certainly - but definitely not personally distressed. Our little nest and little ones were all secure. Or so we thought.
Because insurance companies lost nearly one-third of their worth on that historic day, the business we had built for nearly two decades began to face significant difficulties. Previously profitable, it began to lose money. In addition, we had made very sizable investments into the growth of the company right before this down-turn. As a final straw, our business partner was involved in something unethical, forcing us into litigation so that we could separate ourselves from him.
At this point we fully anticipated the loss of everything we owned: our home, our cars, our livelihood, all our possessions. On many nights I found myself awakened with thoughts of utter loss and grinding humiliation. Frequently, what seemed like a change in our situation rapidly morphed into more devastating news.
This last incident was simply another step into financial ruin. Locked out of our own business... As I flew home that night, I thought I could see the future. Our belongings would be auctioned off. Our home would go into foreclosure. The physical pains that I had been experiencing would soon deplete me of all my strength. Our sons, who were employed in the business, would be jobless. Our grandchildren, relocated.
When I finally arrived home and Phil picked me up at the airport, we both began to weep. On the way up the I-15, the Lord's presence began to comfort us. We began to talk about the humiliation that our Savior had faced and how our humiliation was nothing in comparison to being stripped, beaten, shamed. It was insignificant in comparison to the cross. We started to sing together and soon, although we had no assurances of earthly deliverance, we knew that we were going to be alright - come what may.
In church the next morning, the worship leader began to sing, "Blessed be Your Name, when I'm found in the desert place, though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be Your Name" by Matt and Beth Redman. Phil and I knew the strengthening presence of the Lord and the comfort of being with His children. We lifted our hands as tears streamed down our faces. Our friends were praying for us; we were calmed and thankful.
What happened in the next 48 hours was simply astonishing. Men who had been business acquaintances purchased our business, took over all of our debt, hired Phil at his former salary and fired those who had been scheming against us. Our sons' jobs were safe. We were no longer in debt. Phil had a job and employers who were Christians and who were protecting him. In seventy-two hours, God completely turned our captivity.
All through our trial, we knew that the Lord could sustain us if it was His will for us to suffer the loss of everything we owned. We also knew that the Lord could change our circumstance if He chose to do so. We just didn't think that was what He would do. How wrong we were. The Lord delights in proving Himself strong in so many different ways - sometimes by sustaining His children in devastation - sometimes by thwarting the plans of evildoers and delivering them.
During this season Psalm 57 became very dear to us: "Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me. God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!"
Our brothers and sisters at Grace Church were a primary source of strength and comfort during those long years. So many times, friends would tell me that they had been praying for us, trusting the Lord with us. On so many Sundays we heard sermons that strengthened our faith, corrected our misconceptions, confronted our unbelief. Phil and I are thankful for the crushing we walked through with our Grace Church friends for through it our love for the Lord and our knowledge of their care became so dear to us. Through them He sent out His steadfast love and His faithfulness and we are glad.